by Emma Leitson
One of the ways I talk to God is through worshipping. I used to lead worship at my congregation before I went to college, but now, in college, I did not have that opportunity. In the beginning, transitioning to college was very difficult. I left my family, my friends, my whole life behind and I had to start a new one. The first couple weeks, I began to feel very alone. I had a difficult time making friends, and the majority of the time, I was in my dorm room with nothing to do. I have never felt this feeling of loneliness before and it hit me hard. These times of loneliness, however, were the times I felt the closest to God. I would pick up my guitar and either play worship music or write a song to Him. I would cry out to Him and praise him for all the things He has done for me in my life.
I felt like David. When David was in the depths of despair and loneliness, he still chose to praise God. I know for a fact that my loneliness had a purpose. God begin to speak to me in ways I never thought He could. I begin to truly rest in his presence. I begin to love the times of quietness and loneliness, because in those moments, I felt God and his abundance of peace and love. He was there for me when no one else. “Whenever I sit down or stand up, You know it. You discern my thinking from afar. You observe my journeying and my resting and You are familiar with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold Adonai, You know all about it” (Psalms 139: 2-4). How comforting it was to realize that God knows me better than I know myself. He knows my every thought, my actions, my purpose.
The weeks went by and I still continued to worship God. He gave me song lyrics such as,
“take me back, back to the time
when I was dead but then you made me alive
take me back when I first found you
my first and only love, father you have made me new.”
He began to work wonders in my life. I was truly captivated by Him as He began to change my life and “make me new” in Him. He blessed me with a solid group of friends who fully desire Him. I started to feel more confident not only in myself, but in Him. To this day, I crave my quiet times with Him. I absolutely love reading His word and resting in His presence. I thank God every day for the periods of loneliness because those are the times when He brought me to Him. I learned how to wait and fully trust in Him. And, when I did, he brought more blessings than I could have ever hoped for.
There are, of course, still times when I struggle here at college. But, God taught me to always continue to worship and praise Him, because He is the comforter and the healer of broken hearts. He is the joy of my soul, the praises of my mouth, and the song in my heart.